I have always been confronting this monster for a long time. I'm not sure if I should call it "a monster" since there is no specifically scientific verification for that definition.
Actually I'm not well prepared typing these lines because I think my brain is totally washed out right now, so just go to see what's gonna happen next, maybe i could discover something new for myself, possibly
When I first started this channel, everything was so optimistic on my side, at least that time, I could still compose things passionately, I could feel a very strong flow of emotion, like if someone had attacked me, I would have definitely burst into tears. The innocent me was still in the realm of safety from being torn apart in the middle of the overlapping barriers, like a criss-crossed web produced by a spider.
Recently, I have done some research on neuroscience for work purpose. And those amazingly new discoveries about our magical brain have lead me to the epiphany literally. Hmm I know it sounds kinda cliché, I mean what epiphany means anyway, but I'll try my best to answer that question, maybe I could find some sources to persuade myself in the most relatively reasonable way as I could.
I simply just realized that there is an interconnection between everything, one way or another. The size of my brain, the positions of every part of my brain, the grey matter or the white matter, chemicals and electricity which brain cells use to communicate, everything corporates and varies arbitrarily to build me up. A celestial factory is doing their duty of producing humans which is based on dedicated formulas constituting of different numbers, so comparatively speaking we are a number in a set of numbers, we're different from the micro level but we're basically the same in the bigger picture. And we're not a solo runner running the race of life, we associate with each other in dissimilar formulas to solve a life problem. That's how everything functions.
Oh I think I'm puttering around too far, time to get back to the monster i mentioned above
Hmmm It's actually just a lovely alias for sexual intercourse
A question I have always been pondering since hitting puberty is "Is sexual intercourse a bad thing?"
I asked some of my friends and after collecting their answers I have made a final paraphrase as following: "No, it's directly not bad. It's a fundamental need in human life and it's also good for your health. It's only negative when people do it with bad intentions."
Speaking of this, I'm starting to feel concerned about whether or not I should continue my personal experiences since it's said that there's something in life we shouldn't reveal because eventually it will lead to a consequence. I was stroking my chin for a short while and I decided to continue my typing. Perhaps I may not tell my private pieces of this dramatically petty novella, but just a little peek at my struggle will do. It's the focal point of this video anyway.
I didn't go really well with sexual intercourse and I don't know since when my brain formed a thought of degrading sexual activities and that I should feel ashamed of myself having desire.
Before my enlightenment about human brain, everything was so unclear and most of the time I chose to decide according to my feelings. I used to think that each person had a fate and the way they chose to perceive the world was impenetrable. The idea concealed an intrinsic power which was not easy to break. And if I say, either I want to change my mind, the idea of "sexual intercourse is bad" which was strongly infiltrated in my consciousness or I want to practice celibacy, in other words, I want to develop my prefrontal cortex to balance every single part within my body, will it still be rational?
Then why do I need that balance?
According to Buddhism, there is no possibility of a permanent state of happiness due to the suffering nature of change. "Everything beautiful and good, everything that we consider desirable, brings us suffering in the end." In conclusion, birth itself is a sort of suffering and we will never reach the cessation if we don't practice Dharma constantly every day in our lives. What we deem pleasurable in reality is only how we make a comparison between joyful experiences and painful experiences and that we seek a form of relief for ourselves at that moment, but ultimately that form of relief will bring you suffering in the future after undergoing a change.
The balance of body and mind will help us to overcome suffering. Even though it can't lead to a total cessation but at least it can alleviate the struggle we are fighting with.
Suddenly to this point a question popped up in my head which is "Why do I relax myself when being hugged or fondled?" From a scientific perspective, subcortical and cortical regions, with the mesial temporal lobe and the amygdala in particular are responsible for sexual behavior. Meanwhile, the frontal lobe plays a key role in future planning, including self-management and decision-making. So, how can I develop my frontal lobe to avoid regrettable events in the end?
In order to answer this question, we move to another one. How to improve your frontal lobe?
I will borrow an article on WikiHow to sum up a top 10 things to do to improve our frontal lobe.
10 activities WikiHow had listed are indeed what we need to partake in to balance our life and help our frontal lobe to work more efficiently. However, the article doesn't provide any particular solution for any special case like the neurological control of human sexual behavior, so I think I need to find another source to delve into. In order to keep the frontal lobe awake continually, I think I should be decisive beforehand. If I don't want something to happen, I should say "No" decisively and think of the alternative which can also bring the same joy, like eating good foods or soaking in a hot tub.
So the problem doesn't lie on my thought of "sexual intercourse is bad", but of I can't decide between "Yes" and "No". I deem "sexual intercourse is bad" because I don't want it to happen but gradually I let it happen, which eventually discomforts me.
That uneasy feeling emerges from the disappointment I have with the failure of losing balance and being decisive. The solution for it would be strengthening the ability to say "No", frankly and mercilessly.
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