Skip to main content

City girl


 

It was a tough Valentine's day you know, I had to travel a lot but it was cool, to be honest, I did something new, which is the most important thing in this journey of finding myself. What does that mean by finding myself anyway?

Riding my bike, the stream of thoughts encompassed my mind, forcing me to solve the quest of human psychology, from the lifestyle behavior of my old boss, my friends and acquaintances to how I was born and raised in this glamorous city of classes. The elements that form the combination of this girl I am were assembled through a developing process of family background, education and by chance, people I have met up with. 

I winded up thinking about this matter when a flash of memories crossed my mind, on my way of getting closer to the nature embracing me all the time without my recognition. I wonder, why mother earth always favors earthy souls and brings them to me, a city girl fueled by the hustle and bustle of a distressful glitzy world. I can't deny that I was raised that way, a big discrepancy from people I made friend with. I'm obsessed with the city lights and skyscrapers, I grew up with Western culture inspiring my teenage world with movies and entertainment magazines, how I always end up with rural kids, I don't know how, but I'm okay with it since they have taught me a lot of things about nature, plants, flowers, entities with a puff of tranquil wind filling the air. Crazy huh?

I remember back to the day, when I was younger, my dad worked for a company specializing in oil and gas named PTSC and people always claims doing a career in this field will make you rich, but honestly I didn't know what rich was back then, I was simply never rich and never thought of my family being rich, just a very mediocre family in Vung Tau city. I didn't go out much, I was a quiet kid, so I didn't have friends when I was under 18 backward. Those years, eating my mom's foods was a daily routine and eating out was something very strange and abnormal, so I didn't have that experience of eating out, especially in food vendors. When we ate out, it must be a very special occasion and we would go to a restaurant with well served foods and drinks. After moving to another city, HCMC, I made new friends and for the first time in my life, I had known the taste of so many street foods which I was not familiar with, that time, they thought I was a princess or simply a liar for attention (since they had never seen anyone like me, a girl who knew nothing, even the simplest thing like passing the road). And I bet that time they had never known of anything like prom night either, but my high school organizes that party every year, kind of novelty for those rural kids to comprehend. 

I didn't know to control any vehicles. My parents took me to schools 12 years long, first by motorbike then by car. I didn't show off when I was in university, once again I must say that I never think I'm a rich kid, my family is very medium, but I didn't understand why my university's friends always think I'm rich. Now I got it, but I will not talk so much about the reason today, it's late enough though. 

I just feel a lil funny because a city girl like me could draw the attention of earthy souls and gather them together to nurture me, to water me until I have grown fully into a big tree like I am today. Spontaneously, I thought of a different scenario, if I hadn't met them, if I had been an outgoing kid back to the day and I had met up with people of my class, would I have become the person I am today? Of course, no. That's how everything functions. 

Anyway, I'm not going to change myself. I am a city girl and I'm discovering the world in my way. I can't be a rural girl and try to copy their lifestyles, it's just so wrong because living rural is not me. At least for this moment.

 I think I need to hit the bed now. See ya!


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

MY WORK HISTORY

  MY WORK HISTORY  According to the to-do list that I made some days before, the second entry below that of taking the IELTS test is job hunting , that's the reason why I write about this topic today.  In this post, I'm going to write about my childhood dreams, jobs that I used to experience in the past and my career aspiration for a better future.  My childhood dreams I'm nothing special. At least that is what I have realized at the age of 26, but winding the timeline back nearly 20 years, I really knew nothing, I didn't see the truths about us, humans, about how tiny we are compared to the universe. I thought I was special and unique and I would become someone important some days, someone really really great. I had dreamed of becoming a prime minister, a writer, a journalist or an English teacher. I did make it in some fields and still, what I haven't achieved gradually diminished along with the devastation that the adult world has caused to me.  My choices An...

So we're all damaged huh?

  How damaged am I? It might take you 10 years more... You're too young, even younger than your age. That's what he told me after we entwined our bodies in each other's arms, and also after half a year without seeing each other's face.   I've got to admit, I need to be honest with myself that he was one of the reasons for my constantly surging depression. I had climbed up every single step to escape from the dark basement of suffering, but now once again, that shadow being has reached the tip of my toe, slowly lured my mind, misled me to lose my wisdom, to succumb to the haze of lust and longing. This is my blog, every piece of stories that has made up my life after nearly 10 years leaving the warmth and protection of my family, so I want to be the truest, most honest version of myself here. I don't want to hide anything here. And in fact, it's been a long time since I last updated it. Therefore, I know, I should write this story out.  I started to have se...

The Dunning - Kruger effect

  Do I need to write about it? I'm not sure, I'm not sure whether I have the authority to actually judge someone. But obviously I'm still a normal human being strapped in the world full of jealousy and arrogance. And I must admit that I am just a freaking mediocre person.  OMG I should have just shut my mouth up and let them experience themselves instead of throwing up everything I know in the hope of them to understand my shit. WELL CALM DOWN! Urgh I will take a deep breath and think about how I behaved many years ago. Yeah I was a wild horse, I used to think I was the center of the world and for God's sake I have repeated that phrase many times in my old posts. But the matter of fact is that everybody who has come to my life at this phase all behaves the same as I was right before my awakening.  I get mad. I'm mad because they don't understand, they don't understand anything, they think they know everything, they think they're an expert in their field ...